


Dear Mary

by obwjam



Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Just for funsies, This is an AU, i am indulging leave me be
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-14
Updated: 2020-07-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:53:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25253398
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/obwjam/pseuds/obwjam
Summary: "You need to find someone who’s willing to listen, and most importantly, willing to forgive. Oh, and someone with a sense of humor wouldn’t hurt, either."BJ's writing home to his sister... and he doesn't want anyone to know.
Comments: 3
Kudos: 17





	Dear Mary

**Author's Note:**

> this is for the best chat anywhere :-) an au (or just us filling in canon lmao) where BJ has six sisters (three younger, three older) and he's too embarrassed to tell anyone about it... except for a certain corporal who handles the mail. hawkeye just wants to know what's going on with BJ. slight hunnihawk bc i can't resist. also BJ's real name is benjamin james

BJ paced in little circles around the Swamp, grateful for the small amount of room he had to let out his anxiety. He kept nervously glancing around, but Frank was gone -- it was Friday, so he probably spent the night in Margaret’s tent -- and Hawkeye was still sound asleep.

“He should  _ be _ here by now!” BJ mumbled to himself. He peeked out the dirty mesh. Nothing.

He groaned, crossing his arms and flopping down angrily on his cot.

“Beej, why are you being so  _ loud _ ?” he heard Hawkeye mumble into his pillow. He smirked as Hawkeye’s arm clumsily crashed into his nightstand to grab the clock. “It’s… god, it’s 7:30 a.m.”

“Exactly! Radar always comes with the mail at 7:15. He’s late.”

“Wha…” Hawkeye sat up, resigned to the fact that he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep now. He rubbed his eyes. “Since when is Radar consistent with the mail? It’s never on time.”

“For the last three weeks,” BJ said, almost prepared for Hawkeye’s question. He was staring straight ahead at the door, so he missed the concerned look Hawkeye gave him.

“Beej…” Hawkeye sat up, stretching his arms high into the air. “Whatever Peg has to say, it’s not gonna change between now and whenever Radar gets here.” 

“It’s not P--” BJ started, but quickly stopped himself. Now was not the time.

Hawkeye sighed and slowly made his way over to BJ, who pretended not to notice. He jumped when a hand landed on his shoulder.

“Just relax, alright? I’m sure everything’s okay. The worst news Peg ever writes to you about is when she demonstrates her amazing feats of self-sufficiency and your ego has a breakdown.”

BJ wanted to laugh, but he didn’t.

“S’cuse me, sirs, I’ve got some letters for ya!” came a cheery voice from the door.

“Radar, you’re late!” Hawkeye cried, feigning disappointment as he ushered him inside. “You kept poor BJ here on the edge of his bed for the last 15 minutes.”

“S-sorry, sir, but I just got the mail five minutes ago,” Radar explained, handing Hawkeye a rolled up newspaper. “But I made sure to come here first, since I know how much Cap’n Hunnicutt likes to get letters from his sister--”

“Peg’s sister!” BJ cried, jumping up so suddenly that he would have hit his head on the ceiling if it wasn’t built like a circus tent. 

“Peg has a sister?” Hawkeye asked, trying to peek at the return address on one of the four envelopes Radar had ready for BJ.

“Of course,” BJ scoffed, not missing a beat. “I’ve talked about her before.”

Hawkeye knew for a fact that he hadn’t, but he chose not to say anything.

“How come her sister has the same name as--?” Radar started to ask, squinting at one of the envelopes. BJ quickly snatched it away.

“Mary’s a pretty common name, Radar. She shares it with a lot of people.”

“I can think of a few Marys I know… and a few of their sisters…” Hawkeye smiled slyly while unrolling his latest Crabapple Cove Courier.

Radar had a million questions in his head, but he knew that now was not the best time to ask them. BJ’s tension was starting to make  _ him  _ feel tense.

“Radar, don’t you have to--”

“--gotta go deliver the rest of this,” he mumbled, giving BJ a worried look as he left. BJ didn’t look back.

BJ laid out four letters in front of him on his cot. Three from Mary, one from Peggy. Normally, that low letter count from his wife would be enough to put him in a bad mood for the rest of the day, but he found himself having very little interest in what Peggy had to say about the gutters. He picked up a letter from Mary with a big number one circled on the back and tore it open.

“BJ, listen to this!  _ Local lobster jumps out of tank, terrorizes Grove Street couple _ . Can you imagine?  _ All Edna and Mark Davis wanted was a nice seafood dinner to celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary, but the lobster had other plans!” _

“Very enthralling, Hawk,” BJ said, his voice robotic. “But could you keep your feel-good stories to yourself?”

“Sorry, sorry,” Hawkeye giggled, not feeling the least bit sorry. BJ cringed every time he heard a bellowing laugh from his bunkmate, but he couldn’t let it get to him. After scanning through the first two letters from Mary, which were just detailed updates of what the sisters were up to, he came across the final one with the words  _ Proceed with caution _ painted delicately on the back. That was their warning sign that something wasn’t right.

_ Dearest Ben, _

_ I’m afraid when it comes to my own personal affairs, I don’t have such pleasant news to report. My date last night -- the one I wrote to you about in the last letter -- went as poorly as a date could go. Imagine my surprise when I found out she didn’t think it to be romantic. She thought we were just two friends getting dinner! Can you believe some people? I thought the candle between us and the expensive steak made it fairly obvious. _

_ Anyway, she got a nice meal out of it, but I’m afraid I won’t ever be seeing her again. She took it surprisingly well, but she made it clear we did not get up to bat on the same side of the plate. _

_ What am I doing wrong, Ben? I know it’s not supposed to be easy. But even when I  _ do _ find a most perfect, wonderful person just like me, we never work out. It’s got to be me, right? I mean, when you found Peggy, it was like two lost souls who had found each other deep in a dark forest and knew the only way out was together. Every time I think I’ve found that, she decides she’s going to walk the forest some other way, with someone else.  _

_ I don’t know what to do any more, Ben. Every time I try and talk to Flo about it, she gives me advice that doesn’t really fit my needs. She doesn’t get it like you do. I’ve been spending all my time painting now. The store is doing well. Lots of people suddenly became interested in supporting me when they found out my smart doctor brother was over in Korea, serving his country. Always the talk of the town, aren’t you? I didn’t have the heart to tell them you hate the war more than anybody because their 20 dollar bills mean a bit more to me than the truth. _

_ I wish I could just hear your voice. I’d even tolerate your stupid puns right about now. I know all must be hell in Korea, but I don’t think my quaint little life in San Fran is all roses, either. You’re quite possibly the only person on the planet who can help me out right now, even if your advice gets here a few weeks late. _

_ Write as soon as you can. I love you, Ben. _

_ Your dearest and most favorite sister, _

_ Mary _

BJ didn’t realize that he was clutching the envelope so hard in his other hand that he had crushed it beyond repair. He also didn’t realize that about halfway through the letter, he had already started formulating a plan in which he would steal a jeep, drive himself to Kimpo and get himself back to the States. 

How could this keep  _ happening _ , he wondered? Mary was gorgeous -- tall, silky brown hair, eyes the color of the ocean -- and talented to boot. Her paintings were the best in the entire world as far as BJ was concerned. And she had wit that would rival Hawkeye’s. He always knew they’d get along if they met, but then Hawkeye would try and seduce her, and BJ would have to explain to him why it could never work.

BJ had always felt guilty. Mary was 35 and hasn’t been able to hold down a long-term relationship. BJ got married to Peggy as quickly as humanly possible. He could help in some ways, yes -- he knew how to charm girls. But he didn’t know how to charm the type of girls Mary was after, and so every time he heard of another failed date, it hit him hard. Mary was six years older, but BJ was the only one who could help -- or so she said.

“BJ!” Hawkeye yelled for the third time, which finally seemed to snap his friend out of his trance. “C’mon, we got wounded.”

BJ sighed. He didn’t even find it concerning that he completely missed the PA announcement.

* * *

“Scalpel.”

“Scalpel.”

“I said  _ scissors,  _ Margaret, come on!”

“You did not! You said scalpel!”

“Well, give me the damn Metz scissors!”

“I gotta go with Margaret on this one, Beej,” Hawkeye piped up, unprompted. “You said scalpel.”

“You’ve really got something up your butt today, Hunnicutt,” Potter remarked.

“BJ Hunni _ butt, _ ” Frank giggled to himself. Even Margaret rolled her eyes.

“Can you all get off my back?” BJ snapped. “3-0 silk.”

“Are you  _ sure _ ?” Margaret asked. BJ’s burning stare gave her the answer. She handed him the silk.

“Allllright,” BJ said, putting the finishing touches on the wound. “Close ‘im up, will you? I’m done for today.”

“Hunnicutt!” Potter yelled, but it was no use. BJ was already out of his scrubs when the other three surgeons finished.

“Beej, what’s gotten into you?” Hawkeye said, still in his stained whites, running after BJ. “You were totally out of it in there.”

“No I wasn’t,” BJ protested, though he knew that was a lie. 

“Beej, come on,” Hawkeye urged as they entered the Swamp. “Is it Peg?”

“No, it’s not Peg.” BJ was telling the truth about that, but it still felt like a lie. 

“Is it Peg’s  _ sister? _ ” Hawkeye said snidely. He knew Peggy didn’t have a sister. He knew BJ was lying about all of it. But when he got like this, it was nearly impossible to pry  _ anything  _ out of him.

BJ said nothing as he unlaced his boots and reached for a pen.

“Okay, go ahead, write her back, ignore your best friend,” Hawkeye said, pulling his surgical cap off he didn’t realize he still had on. “I’ll be in the mess tent. Or hopefully Nurse Able’s tent.”

After filling out three pages worth of updates on the 4077th's shenanigans, it must have taken an hour before BJ finally settled on a response to the real issue at hand. But even reading it over, he didn’t feel satisfied. He didn’t know what she  _ needed _ . All he could offer was empty platitudes and blanket statements. His sister deserved more than that, but BJ didn’t know what else he could say. Hers was a secret that stayed mostly between them, sometimes the other sisters, but rarely. They didn’t always understand. BJ always understood.

He knew he couldn’t go to Hawkeye with this. That would require the explanation that he had six sisters in the first place. Hawkeye wouldn’t care about that. He didn’t know what it was like to have a big family. He’d never understand, and he didn’t want to burden his closest friend with his most personal problems. 

But there  _ was _ one person who knew. 

“Radar, I need you to mark this as urgent,” BJ burst through the double doors, not even checking to see if Radar was there. He was, though. He had been waiting for BJ for the last five minutes.

“Is everything okay, sir?” Radar asked immediately. “You were real distracted in OR today.”

“I know,” BJ sighed. His shame was bordering on embarrassment. Here he was, a total mess, getting called out by  _ Radar _ .

“You didn’t answer my question, sir.” Silence. “It’s okay, I’m a real good listener.”

BJ rubbed his eyes. “It’s my sister.”

“Which one?”

“Mary. She’s having… relationship problems.”

“Oh, gee, I don’t think I can help much there,” Radar blushed, taking off his cap and rubbing a hand through his hair. “I’m not the best with--”

“--I know,” BJ cut him off. “I don’t need your  _ advice _ , Radar, I just…”

“Of course I’ll read the letter,” Radar answered the question BJ didn’t have the guts to ask himself. “I usually do, anyway.”

“ _ What?” _ BJ snapped. “No! Don’t  _ read _ it.”

“Fine! I’ll just send it, then!” Radar stood up, snatching the letter from BJ’s hand and throwing it in the proper drawer. He turned back to BJ, who was still sitting there, still lost in thought.

“I--I don’t wanna be rude, sir, but why won't ya talk to Cap’n Pierce about this?”

BJ waved his hand. “Oh, Hawkeye wouldn’t understand.” 

“He’s got a sister too, y’know.”

“Yeah, but does he have six of ‘em? I’m pretty sure my family is bigger than the entire population of Crabapple Cove.”

“Well, he’s your best friend, isn’t he?” 

BJ nodded.

“Then, well, you should be able to talk to him about this stuff! Isn’t that what friends do?”

BJ sighed. “Yeah, but you know Hawkeye! He’d make a thousand jokes before he’d say anything useful.”

Radar frowned. “If my sister was havin’ trouble with  _ anything _ , I’d want to make sure she was okay, too. An’, well, I don’t think it’s so right of you to ignore Hawkeye an’ think he wouldn’t care aboutcha! Because he does.”

BJ didn’t know what to say. He was mostly reeling from the fact that Radar was telling him off and, deep down, he knew… 

_ “You’re right,” _ BJ wanted to say, but he couldn’t.

“Can I have the letter back?”

Radar raised an eyebrow. “I thought you wanted it sent urgent,” he said, fishing it out and handing it back to BJ.

“Not yet,” BJ said, turning to the door. “I think I need a second opinion.”

* * *

Hawkeye must have actually been able to sneak into Nurse Able’s tent, because when BJ returned to the Swamp, he was nowhere to be seen. BJ breathed a sigh of relief as he sat down at his little table and unfolded his letter.

_ Dear Mary, _

_ Ecstatic to hear your business is thriving. You have my permission to keep lying at my expense to make a few extra bucks -- hell, tell ‘em to send some of that money straight to your smart doctor brother who clearly needs it more. I need all the money I can for poker night. _

_ Not a day goes by where I don’t think of you and the others. You've been on my mind more than anyone lately, but don’t go thinking that makes you my favorite sister. I wish I knew all the right things to say and in the exact right order, too. I don’t have all the answers, no matter how much I’d like to think I do. And that includes your latest troubles. I wish there was some one-answer-fits-all solution, but God knows there aren’t any.  _

_ All I know is this.You’re beautiful, strong, talented -- all things I wish I was. You have the ability to brighten anyone’s day just by being in the same room as them. Any girl who can’t see that you’re worth everything deserves none of you or your attention. I know it’s hard, believe me. Every day I’m grateful to have Peg, because if I didn’t, well, we might be in the same boat here. You’re in the right place, Mary, and times are changing. I think  _

“You’re kidding. You’re  _ still writing?” _ Hawkeye couldn’t believe his eyes when he strolled into the Swamp. 

BJ flinched. Of all the times to come back… “Lay off, Hawk.” 

“No, I will not  _ lay off _ ,” Hawkeye spat. “You’ve been hunched over that piece of paper for hours! Something’s clearly bothering you.”

“It’s nothing I can’t handle.”

“Beej, you’re insane if you think you can keep lying to me!” Hawkeye cried. “I  _ know _ Peg doesn’t have a sister.”

“Oh, so now you’re an expert on my wife? Why don’t you just go back to Nurse Able and bother her instead?”

“Nurse Able-- no! BJ, I was sitting in the mess tent for  _ two hours _ to give you space. I listened to Frank talk about war bonds for 30 minutes! Then I saw you run into Radar’s office and  _ knew _ something was wrong! I mean, c’mon, Beej, you’re going to Radar instead of  _ me?!” _

BJ froze. He didn’t know what to make of that.

“I know you, BJ! Tell me I’m wrong: Peg sends you a letter. Oh, she had to fix the sink herself. Oh, she had to call the plumber with biceps. Oh, some mundane task that you  _ desperately _ need to be home for, but can’t be, because you’re stuck in this hellhole like the rest of us, so you take your anger out on me because you know I can’t stay mad at you or else I’d lose the closest friend I’ve ever had. You think because you have a wife that it means you get to be angrier than the rest of us and get away with it. Is that right? Did I get it all?”

BJ shut his eyes so tight he thought he’d never be able to open them again. Every word hit him like a shower of needles, slowly raining down on him and sticking in all the places it hurt the most. He could tolerate Hawkeye when he was drunk. He could tolerate Hawkeye when he was preaching. But he still hadn’t figured out how to tolerate him when he was  _ right _ .

“Read this.”

Hawkeye raised his brow. BJ was still facing away from him, but he was holding the letter up for Hawkeye to see.

“What?” Hawkeye was confused, but didn’t hesitate to snatch up the letter. “Your letter to Peg? Why do you need me to read it?”

“I don’t  _ need _ you to, I want you to. Read it before I change my mind.”

“Okay, okay…” Hawkeye smoothed it out, and immediately he was caught off-guard.

“Dear… Mary… Mary. Huh. Who’s Mary?”

“Keep reading.”

Hawkeye did just that, and his eyes grew wider with each new word he read. Others… sister… any girl…  _ same boat _ .

He put down the letter. BJ’s back was still facing him, but his shoulders were slumped and his head was hanging.

“Beej, I…” Hawkeye tried, but he found he didn’t have the right words. He wanted to be angry -- BJ had a sister and never told him!  _ Several  _ sisters, if he was reading correctly! How could he withhold that information from his  _ best friend? _ It wasn’t like Hawkeye’s mom… he couldn’t even  _ fathom _ a reason to hide that piece of his life. But he also understood completely, because Mary was  _ not _ a typical woman. 

He turned back to his friend, who looked so defeated. He had no idea what kind of letter BJ was attempting to respond to, but he could infer it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows. Slowly, he sat down next to BJ, who didn’t resist. Their knees were bumping.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

BJ found enough energy in him to shrug. “I guess I was embarrassed.”

“Embarrassed that you have a  _ sister _ ?” Hawkeye was trying to be sympathetic, but he couldn’t suppress his dumbfoundedness. “You know I’ve got one too, right?”

“Not just one! Six.”

“ _ Six?” _ Hawkeye repeated. BJ nodded.

“Six sisters, Peg and Erin. That’s eight girls that are 10,000 miles away from me right now. Eight girls who  _ need _ me and I’m not there.”

“Beej, I knew you were a ladies’ man, but this is really something else!” Hawkeye quipped, trying to lighten the mood. Somehow, it only seemed to make it worse.

“How am I supposed to help her, Hawk?” BJ suddenly stood up and started pacing. “What do I know about any of this? About…”

“...girls?” Hawkeye finished.

“No, no. About… about  _ her _ kind of girls.” He turned around to face Hawkeye, who was simply rereading the letter.  _ He really doesn’t think it's weird. _

“I don’t think either of us are qualified to talk about her kind of girls,” Hawkeye said somberly. He finished scanning the letter again. “You really didn’t wanna tell me this?”

“Well-- well can you  _ blame _ me? I mean, if you in my shoes--”

“--BJ, nobody can fit in your shoes.”

BJ pointed straight at Hawkeye. “See! See!  _ That’s _ what I mean!  _ That’s _ why I didn't tell you!”

“What? Your gigantic feet?”

“Hawk, the  _ jokes! _ All the wisecracking, and-and  _ womanizing! _ If you were me, would  _ you _ want you to know about my sisters?”

“Of course I would! Because I’m not just some kind of predatory  _ creep _ , Beej!”

“Sure coulda fooled me.”

Hawkeye had tried to be nice, but clearly BJ wasn’t playing by those rules.

“Oh, yeah, right. Hawkeye Pierce, M.D. and certified  _ sister chaser! _ Do you really think I would do that to you? Do you really think that little of me? Because I don’t have a pretty little wife and a pretty little daughter in a pretty little cookie-cutter suburban home, you think I’m some kind of perv?”

“No! You just don’t understand!”

“Understand?  _ Understand? _ No, what I don’t _understand_ is why my best friend thinks he has to hide his whole life from me! I also don’t  _ understand _ how you don’t see that this isn’t about Mary, or Peggy, or Sue, or however many other Hunnicutts there are out there! It’s about  _ you _ , always assuming I either don’t understand your struggle or that I’m not worthy of knowing.” Hawkeye paused. He was yelling much too loud. He slowly walked back toward BJ. “Look. I understand not wanting to share every little detail… every little bit of family history… but Beej, you won’t tell me  _ anything _ .  _ Me _ . Hawkeye. Your best friend… right?”

BJ could barely register Hawkeye’s hand on his leg.  _ Right. Right. You’re right. Of course you’re right. _

“...Beej?”

There was something in Hawkeye’s voice -- so vulnerable, so gentle. So warm. So…  _ understanding. _

“You’re right,” BJ said finally, so quiet he could barely hear himself. “You’re right, Hawk. You’re always right.”

“Oh, well.” Hawkeye waved his hand.

“I’m sorry, I… do you know what it’s like to have a big family? To have everyone you grew up with tease you for living with six girls? How half the time, kids were only your friend so they could take a pass at a sister? For God’s sake, Hawk, I don’t think I ever had one friend who didn’t ask me about Evelyn at some point. Four years of varsity football, four years of teammates spending half their time looking at my family in the stands. And the worst part is, it’s all so silly! Because we all get along so well! We all love each other to death! What do I have to complain about? What right do I have?”

“BJ, it isn’t a competition. We all have problems. We all deal with them differently.”

“Yeah, well, I deal with it by keeping it to myself.”

“That’s not…” Hawkeye stopped himself. He was many things, but he wasn’t a hypocrite. “I don’t think it’s silly.”

“You don’t? You  _ really _ don’t?”

“No! Beej, I spend half my time talking about the stories in the Crabapple Cove Courier! I complain about the food so much that every time I get angry about something, my appetite goes away. Every time Frank  _ breathes _ I want a shell to blow away his half of the tent!”

“So what you’re saying is, you’re giving Klinger a run for that section 8?”

Hawkeye smiled. “No. I’m saying that we all fixate on things that don’t seem to matter to other people. It  _ all _ seems trivial, because hell, look where we are. Look at what we  _ do _ every day. The  _ things _ we see. If we can’t get caught up in the stupid things in life… then what are we doing but sewing up kids’ guts and chugging gin?”

“Sounds like a normal day to me.”

Hawkeye sniffed a laugh. “Can you tell me about her?”

BJ turned, his face inches away from Hawkeye’s. “Who?”

“Mary. Your sister. I want to know all about her.”

BJ tried to stare at the floor, but all he could notice was how close Hawkeye’s boots were to his own.

“Well, for one thing, she absolutely  _ refuses _ to call me BJ.” 

* * *

BJ put his pen down and held up the finished letter in front of him. He had ultimately decided not to change anything. Instead, he picked up where he left off.

_ I think there are such things as soulmates… because otherwise I don’t know how I got so lucky. There is nothing wrong with you, Mar. Only with the people surrounding you. You need to find someone who’s willing to listen, and most importantly, willing to forgive. Oh, and someone with a sense of humor wouldn’t hurt, either. _

_ I know I can't give you all the answers you want, or all the answers you need. But I'm here for you, always. You never have to be embarrassed. Sometimes letting it all out leaves you feeling better than you'd think. Maybe you should try talking to Florence again. I know she’s not always the best with advice, but I hear she’s a great listener. And you know Flo -- she probably has a friend or two you might be interested in. _

_ I love you, Mary. And I promise I’ll be home soon. _

_ Your favorite brother, _

_ Ben _


End file.
